Sunday, August 1, 2010

Verlorene Liebe (Chapter 1 ,Part 3)

“Boo!” sadly enough I was actually scared by this pathetic scare.
“Natalia why would you do that!” Natalia was one of my good friends, or more importantly one of the few people I considered to be my real friend. We had only been friends for two years, but we are as close as people who have known each other their entire lives.
“Squeaks I’m going to miss you when you’re gone” she threw herself on me dramatically.
“Ha ha and I think I might actually miss people calling me squeaks” my friends started calling me squeaks in the sixth grade because of the way I screamed when I was scared, apparently it sounded like a high pitched squeak.
“Hey Talia have you seen Tristano?”
“Ummm you know what, I saw him not to long ago when I first walked in, come on lets go find him” we took each other’s hand and headed into the sea of people. It took us about twenty minutes, but we finally found Tristano. Unlike Natalia and me, Tristano and I had been friends for ten years, one of my longest friendships. He was also the only person I ever really confided in, he was also the creator of my nickname.
“Tano!”
“Squeaks stop calling me that!” he hugged me.
“Ha sure thing, as soon as you stop calling me squeaks”
“Never!” they both chimed in laughing. We eventually had to take our seats, luckily Natalia, Tristano, and I got to sit next to each other due to our last names. It took us a few minutes, but we managed to put or caps, gowns, and tassels on the correct way. There was a pre graduation lecture, and then we marched as a class out to the massive sanctuary.  No sooner had we sat down did the millions of speeches begin, but of course Tristano, Talia, and I did not pay attention. We talked in hushed whispers for the majority of the ceremony.
“Pssss. Hey did you two know that this place was built hundreds of years ago-“
“Well duh Tristano, everything in Rome was built hundreds of years ago” Talia and Tristano were always battling it out, mainly because of Talia’s constant sarcasm. I on the other hand had always been a spectator who took pleasure in the entertainment they constantly provide. On some odd occasions they acted like a normal couple and had moments, but those were about as common as a breeze in hell, except for it actually happened on occasion.
“Okay, could you guys at least not fight until after the ceremony?”
“Don’t look at me, I’m not the who starts these things, she is.”
“Oh yeah right!”
“Guys, shhhhh. Tristano just continue with you story please”
“Fine. So like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, this church was built hundreds of years ago, but it is not Italian.” I’m a pretty gullible person, but even I found his story hard to believe. “Tristano we are in the middle of Italy, how is this place not an Italian church? It was built in Italy!” my whisper was fairly loud, and a few people turned in their seats to stare at me, making the day even merrier.
“I’m with Squeaks on this one Tristano, the church was built in Italy so-“
“Ah ha, this is where you two are wrong. This church was not built in Italy.” I looked at Talia and she looked at me, then we both looked at Tristano.
“How stupid do we look to you?”
“Um do you really want me to answer that?” being the aggressive person she was, Talia reached over me and punched his arm.
“ha ha ouch that hurt, I was just kidding, you two aren’t stupid, but I was being serious…about the church that is.” Talia turned completely around in her seat to face Tristano, I felt a bit awkward sitting in the middle.
“Okay oh knowledgeable one, where was the church built and how did it wind up in Rome hundreds of years ago.”
“Well no one really knows where the church was built, but legend has it that on the twenty- fourth night of August this acre of land was barren and when the villagers awoke the next day, this church was upon it. No one in the village claimed to hear or see anyone construct the church, so they thought it to be a blessing from the Lord. However, when they stepped inside, they noticed that there were statues and paintings of demon like creatures. Ever since that day, this place has been known as the devils house.” Tristano was right; it was odd that there were statues of evil looking creatures in the church. I had never seen that in any of the other churches in Rome.
“oooooo the devils layer…I didn’t know that Mrs. Lombardi had a layer.” Mrs. Lombardi was our crazed literature teacher. She would always go on and on about things that we didn’t care about, using words we didn’t understand to explain words we already didn’t understand.
“Ha ha nice one, but the legend isn’t true… is it Tristano?” Did I mention I was gullible?
“Oh of course it is squeaks, of course it is” Tristano always creeped me out.
“Will you stop looking at me like that? Just pay attention.” We all tuned back into the ceremony, well I tried at least. I couldn’t help but think about Tristano’s story. The sanctuary was larger than the entire church I attend. A gold trim lined the ceiling, which had a magnificent mural painted in the center. The mural looked like a portrait of a battle between various demons. There was a demonic looking creature surrounded by a raging fire, another by colossal waves of rushing water, and another creature was surrounded by mounds and mounds of earth.  There was another creature, but it didn’t look as demonic as the others, it was surrounded by clouds and what looked like rushes of wind.  I had never seen anything like it.

Verlorene Liebe (Chapter 1 ,Part 2)

Senior year was my best year of high school, not because I was a senior, or because it was my last year, or because all of the other reasons people have for loving their senior year, but because it was the first year in high school that I didn’t have nightmares about the crash. It was also the first year I didn’t agonize over some boy. I had always had a knack for choosing guys that I could never end up with, which only added to my emotional turmoil. This year was different though, I actually had a few good friends that I felt somewhat comfortable around, but that was all changing in less than two months. When it came to college, I chose a small college in Bressonone, Italy instead of the local university in Rome like my friends. I’m not sure why, but I just wanted to get away, sometimes I wondered why, seeing as I had friends for the first time, but then I was always reminded by my mother.
“Ana! What on earth, you look like you were living in the jungle for three years without a comb!” this was my mother’s reaction to me waking up one hour before my graduation and walking downstairs for a bowl of cereal before getting ready, my mother always blew things way out of proportion.
“Mother please
“Oh mother please what? You look like a cave man!”
“Will you just breathe Godzilla, I just woke up. I’m going to get ready after I finish eating.”
“Ana we leave in thirty minutes! You have yet to do your hair, eyebrows, and don’t even get me started about your nails! For goodness sakes, could you at least have the decency to remove that hideous black nail polish once it starts chipping? You look like a hobo!” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my mother when she went on about all my flaws. That’s one thing that always bothered me about my parents. They were quick to point out all my flaws, as if I myself were blind and couldn’t see them. It only made it worse, them telling me all the things that were wrong with me, I always wished my parents could have been the loving supportive type, but that couldn’t have happened even if I had a genie and a shooting star.
“Mother all I have to do is brush my hair, get dressed and grab my gown. Not everyone in this world cares about appearances as much as you do” I put my bowl in the sink and headed up stairs. It took me no more than twenty minutes to comb through my hair, put in a ponytail, comb out my bang and put on my stupid yellow dress that my mother had bought for me. My mother however, was completely disappointed with my appearance and dragged me into her bathroom and “worked her magic as quickly as she could”.
“Anabelle I don’t know why you insist on constantly wearing your hair in this unattractive ponytail! You look so much better with your hair down. I mean you were blessed with such long and beautiful black hair, you think you would do something with it, besides try to hide your face behind this ridiculous side bang. I mean really! It’s not necessary!” After eighteen years of my mother’s tangents, I learned to just keep my mouth shut and roll my eyes. The only thing that kept me sane was counting off the days until I left for college, I had seventy days left. My mother of course put us fifteen minutes behind, so my dad sped the whole way to the church. I wanted to get the whole graduation thing over with; I hated school and the activities that came along in the package. Ironically enough, I was graduating with honors, third in my class, despite my hatred of school. I guess studying was my only other option. My mother bragged to all of our neighbors about how I was graduating with honors, and even showed off my honors tassels when I received them from the school. She even held them for the entire car ride, along with my cap and gown, because apparently I would “create unnecessary wrinkles and creases”. When we pulled up to the front of the church, on time, I bolted out of the car, nearly leaving behind my cap and gown. I ran down the hall and around the corner to the room for all the graduates, but when I opened the door I realized that finding my friends in a room full of 700 people would be nearly impossible. Everyone was trying to put on caps and gowns, find their seats, talk to friends, and walk around all at the same time, in other words utter chaos. 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Verlorene Liebe ( Chapter 1, Part 1)

Chapter One







It happened ten years, maybe it was predestined or maybe it was random. Either way, I managed to, in one day, destroy my family and kill both my brother and sister. Before their deaths my family was close, some would even go so far as to say perfect. I had a loving father and mother, along with a protective older brother and a nagging older sister. However, after what unfolded that day, I was left with a mother and father on the brink of divorce, along with two dead siblings. Even though it happened ten years ago, I’ve always felt like it was right behind me, chasing me in my thoughts and dreams. My sister Amanda and her best friend Ginny were eighteen years old at the time, and I was eight. They picked me up that day from school. I had always loved riding in Amanda’s red mini. It smelled liked new car, my parents gave it to her on her sixteenth birthday and she treated it better than she treated me. Ginny and Amanda were going on and on about some strange guy at their school who they swore was always stalking Amanda. We stopped at a red light and an ice cream truck pulled up next to us, and of course I had to have some. I remember arguing with my sister as she drove the back roads home.
“Manda I want ice cream!”
“Oh of course you do” Amanda always spoke to me in sarcastic tones. Although looking back now, I miss her sarcasm, that and Ginny’s sense of needing to be the mediator all the time.
“Manda its just ice cream. We could just stop at Fred’s and get her a push pop, it’s on the way”
“That’s so not the point Ginny! The brat is spoiled and she needs to know that she can’t get everything she wants just because she’s cute!” Amanda had started making faces at me in the rearview mirror, so I made a few as well. Ginny turned around in her seat to look at me, which was the first mistake.
“Anabelle-“
“Don’t call me that!”
“I’m sorry, Ana. How about when we get back to your place I put your hair in those pretty French braids you love so much. I’m spending the night tonight, so I will even have time to put some bows in as well.”
“Really?!”
“Yep, pinkies promise?” Ginny and I locked pinkies.
I use to love the way Ginny did my hair when she spent the night. Ever since I was old enough to remember, Ginny French braided my hair whenever she came over. However, my sister hated that her best friend treated me so nicely, so she always provoked me. Amanda looked in the rearview mirror and stuck her tongue out at me, the second mistake. I remember how angry I was, and the last thing I said before the crash “AMANDA I HATE YOU!” which was the last mistake, and then it happened. 
Amanda had been looking in the rearview mirror, Ginny had been facing me in the back seat, and I had been too busy screaming the words I regret so much to see the other car. The impact was intense and quick, almost too quick. The entire front half of the car was destroyed, the steering wheel was practically touching the passengers’ door. The police report says that an eighteen wheeler hit us and kept going. However, I know that it wasn’t a vehicle that hit us, I’m not sure what it was, but what I do know was that as I lie in the back seat of the car there was an odd emerald glow that disappeared as quickly as it came. When the ambulance arrived I was unconscious still buckled in the backseat, but when I eye opened my eyes I was in a St. Mary’s hospital room. My mom and dad were sleeping by my side. I looked at the clock, it was 10:23 pm and I will never that time either, because it was at 10:23 when a doctor walked in to tell us that my brother was dead. I will never forget the expressionless look on my father’s face or my mother’s scream. My brother Greg was twenty two; he ironically enough had an internship at St. Mary’s on the fourth floor, I was on the first. His friend Ethan was working on the first floor that night and saw me when I had been brought in. Apparently, my parents hadn’t told Greg anything, so when Ethan told him after his shift he rushed to the first floor. In all the rush, he forgot to pay attention. When the elevator doors opened he didn’t realize that there was no floor, he fell down the shaft. The doctors immediately stopped the elevator and pulled him out. The doctor said they operated for two hours, but in the end they couldn’t do anything to save him. None of it mattered though, it could have been a meteor that hit us, but regardless it was still my fault. If I hadn’t been such a brat that day everyone would still be alive.  After my brother and sister’s death my Mom, Dad, and I moved from the United States to Italy. It was a dramatic move, but dramatic does not even begin to describe my mother. It was my mother’s idea to get me a therapist immediately after the crash, even though the doctors assured her I was going through post traumatic shock and I would be fine in no time. However, after my first visit there were other terms to describe what was wrong with me. The words depression and hallucinogenic were thrown around quite a bit. The mention of the emerald glow at the accident was what sparked the hallucinogenic diagnosis, which was far off because I never saw hallucinations. The depression on the other hand I was not sure about. I didn’t necessarily feel sad, just disconnected with everything. I didn’t get close to people, I didn’t make too many “friends”, and I definitely didn’t go out frequently, but I don’t think that made me depressed, just different. My mother argued otherwise and had me on several medications from day one, along with her famous catch phrase: “This is the one Ana, you will be back to normal”. As if she would know what normal was for me, I wasn’t even sure what normal was, sometimes I’m not even sure of the person I am, but that had never stopped her, not even today on my graduation from high school.